I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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