doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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