he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
