I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize