I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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