her vagine was all disorganized.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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