Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
