I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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