Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize