Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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