I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Randomize
