im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
