Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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