whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
