um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
my being single is dangerous.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
