In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
