I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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