That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
