We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
