How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
