alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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