Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
