My pussy is not your playground.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
