I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
