I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
