So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
