sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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