Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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