My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
