I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I think people are normalizing furries
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
