Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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