Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
