I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
