You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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