Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
