how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
