at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Randomize