Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i drank out of a bidet.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
