Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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