The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
