My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm always down for nudity.
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