i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
