White coat. Heels.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
