"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
