I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
