I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
