He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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