You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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