its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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