There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
