so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
