I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
