drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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