they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
