no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
