he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
