just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
