Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize