Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize