She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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