almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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