nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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