no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
