College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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