what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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