just tell him i said nine months
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
