I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize