my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
