Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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