today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It's no shave November. This is our time.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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